ABUSE OF POWER UNDER A GUISE . . . REVISITED

21Jun2010 By Judith Barr

This post is a follow-up to my previous post on this subject.

The man who was to be executed by a firing squad . . . was, in fact, executed.
The man who volunteered to be on the firing squad was one of five law enforcement officers on the firing squad.

Who can imagine this makes us feel safe?
Who can call our society civilized when such a thing could happen?
Who can imagine we are society of mature human beings if we can’t see through the guise?
Who can call us a society of healthy human beings if we can’t see through the guise?
The guise of justice covering abuse of power.
The guise of justice covering such deep wounding.

I posted a comment on a blog about the incident, and then went to read others’ posts to the blog.
My heart hurt so to read the responses. To see such hatred, rage, violence, and venom come from people
toward the man who had been executed . . . again under a guise. And toward other people who responded without hatred, rage, violence, and venom.

I wondered who from their own early lives they were transferring onto this man who was executed, and onto others.
I wondered about the abuse in their early lives . . .
the cruelty in their childhoods . . .
the punishments and other pain they suffered as children . . .
and under what guises?
Punishments that now they flung at others.
I wondered about the revenge someone took out on them during childhood,
revenge from a previous generation’s experiences of cruelty, hatred, punishment.

I wondered how to gather the help in larger numbers
so that together we can help to awaken and heal
our wounded, suffering, society.

Abuse of Power Under a Guise . . .

14Jun2010 By Judith Barr

This month, in a few days, the death penalty may be carried out in Utah by means of a firing squad.
In Utah . . . in the United States . . . in 2010!

A man who volunteered to be on the firing squad, who has been on a firing squad before, and is currently a law enforcement officer in Utah . . . spoke to CNN* about the use of firing squads for death penalty cases, and about his experience of being on a firing squad.

Here are some of the things he said:

“How often does this come along? 100 percent justice.”
“The process is instantaneous and carried out with the utmost professionalism.”
“It was anti-climactic. Another day at the office.”
“I’ve shot squirrels I’ve felt worse about.”
“There’s (sic) just some people we need to kick off the planet.”
“The death penalty is nothing more than sending a defective product back to the manufacturer. Let him fix it.”

Does it take your breath away to hear this? It does mine. Does it break your heart to hear this? It does mine. Imagine!

The abuse of power often takes place under a guise . . .
under the guise of taking care of people,
under the guise of helping people,
under the guise of serving people,
under the guise of justice. **

I urge you to see through the guises . . .
so you aren’t abused under a guise,
so you don’t collude with someone under a guise,
so you don’t remain passive in the face of a guise.

And here, in the form of a firing squad, is a guise for sure.
100% justice . . . that’s the guise.
The signs of the guise . . . what the law enforcement officer said:
“Another day at the office.”
“I’ve shot squirrels I’ve felt worse about,”
“There’s (sic) just some people we need to kick off the planet.”
“The death penalty is nothing more than sending a defective product back to the manufacturer. Let him fix it.”

If you experience being on a firing squad and shooting someone to death as “another day at the office,” you are numbed out and your heart is hardened and closed . . . abuse of power under the guise of professionalism and objectivity.
If you feel worse about squirrels you’ve shot than a human being, you are so disconnected from and misusing your feelings . . . which feeds the abuse of power you are committing.
If you have decided some people need to be kicked off the planet and set yourself up to participate in deciding who and how . . . you are not valuing human life and you are revealing your commitment to destroying what you don’t value. And kicking someone off the planet is abuse of power no matter how you describe it.
If you have decided “the death penalty is . . . sending a defective product back to the manufacturer,” you are abusing power under the guise of a belief and relationship with God.

We need to understand this. We need to know it, hear it, see it, and feel it.
We need to not be fooled by the guise that attempts to justify or hide abuse of power.
We need to understand this and not be fooled by the guise that attempts to justify or hide abuse of power anywhere – including in the bedroom, the living room, the classroom, the boardroom, the legislative halls, and the halls of justice.

* https://www.cnn.com/2010/CRIME/06/09/utah.firing.squad/index.html?hpt=C1

** In my book, Power Abused, Power Healed, I state:

“Every form of power can be used well or misused.
“The law has been used to manipulate as well as to serve justice. Parenthood has been used as a means of captivity, and it has been used to nourish a soul, helping it grow into fullness. Sexuality has been used as a weapon to rape and dominate, as a substitute for unmet childhood bonding and physical touch, and as an exquisite sacred expression of love and union.
“Even God’s name has been used both to destroy and to heal. Christian Inquisitors burned midwives at the stake; zealots have committed acts of violence all over the world in the name of religion. In contrast, people of many religions pray for peace; practitioners all over the world speak different names for God as they lay hands on suffering bodies to touch hearts and souls and restore them to health.”

“WHO NEEDS A PERIOD?” – A POLITICAL CONFLICT

10May2010 By Judith Barr

Recently, I read an article on CNN.com* that explored the use of birth control to suppress a woman’s monthly period…and the startling fact that 72% of women said they “did not like having a period” and 40% of women would prefer never to have one! And now birth control pills are being utilized to avoid our periods almost completely.

My heart cried out as I read this article, and the words of women quoted in it who, consciously or unconsciously, thought of their periods as a curse or a burden. In response, I wrote the post below, in the hope that it will put some perspective on the sacredness of menstruation, and why our monthly period is so crucial . . .

In a world where misogyny is rampant . . .
In a world where, even with the advances women have made, women are still treated horribly . . .
In a world where, perhaps because of the fear of the advances women have made, women are being treated worse than ever . . .
In a world where, if the abusive, cruel treatment of women were done to Jews, African Americans, Gays, or some other minority, the actions would be called hate crimes and prosecuted . . .
For women to suppress their menstrual bleeding, a natural part of their being, a crucial part of their innate, inborn power . . .
is tantamount to colluding with the patriarchal attempts to discount, diminish, control, and have power over women. It is the equivalent of an alcoholic’s spouse enabling or colluding with the alcoholic.

A woman’s period is not simply the mechanism through which she is able to conceive and give birth to human babies. It is also the cycle that helps a woman be truly connected to herself — her body, her mind, her heart, and her own soul — and to root herself more and more deeply with her own instincts, her own knowings, her own strength and courage, her own gifts.

To suppress or give that up . . . is to give herself and her inner power away!

To suppress or give that up . . . is to be seduced into believing her menstrual bleeding is a curse.
Or at the very least to not have been taught the powerful truth about the immense possibilities of menstruation . . .
by a mother who grew up believing her period was a curse.

To suppress or give that up . . . is to give herself and her inner power away!

This is not just a personal choice and action. This is a communal choice and action and a political choice and action.

We will be shocked and horrified, if we continue this blind trend, by the dire consequences of our actions –
in the actions of men toward us, in the actions of other women toward us, in our actions toward other women,
and in our actions toward ourselves.

Who will help us if we continue?
Who will help us if we don’t help ourselves?

* https://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/05/06/period.monthly.menstruation/index.html?hpt=C2

NOTE: If you would like to learn more . . . here are four sources I can recommend. The first three are books, the fourth is an audio cassette: The Wild Genie, Alexandra Pope; Her Blood Is Gold, Lara Owen; Mysteries of the Dark Moon, Demetra George; The Call of My Blood Mysteries, Judith Barr

A TWO-FER IN THE ABUSE DEPARTMENT . . . HAVE WE HAD OUR FILL YET?

04Mar2010 By Judith Barr

In just a few days, we have been informed of two more abuses of power amongst our government officials — one definitely occurred, the other has been alleged . . . and it seems facts are bearing it out. Most importantly, both of them had horrific impact on citizens of our country!

One . . . Governor David Paterson of New York is accused of having used his power in behalf of an aide.

The aide had been accused of battering his girlfriend, who then filed a criminal complaint against him. The governor is alleged to have sent state police officers, who did not have any jurisdiction in the case, to speak with the alleged victim to harass her into not proceeding with the action,* and then to have asked his press secretary to contact the victim and instruct her to publicly describe the incident as “non-violent.” He is alleged to have then called her himself…after which she would not appear in court to proceed with the case.** So she was victimized twice … once by her boyfriend and once by the governor.

Who needs to do their work with their relationship with power in the state of New York? Certainly, the governor’s aide. And it certainly looks like the governor needs to himself. Although this incident is in no way, shape, or form her fault or responsibility…even the woman in the case needs to work with her relationship with power . . . so she can stand up against abuse, instead of collapsing in the face of the governor’s call.

Two . . . Senator Jim Bunning of Kentucky, with his single vote, made sure jobless aid (and help with health insurance premiums) ran out Sunday night February 28th. And again Tuesday morning, March 3, when another Senator requested a 30 month extension of jobless benefits.*** And although eventually, his colleagues seem to have had an impact, and he backed down . . . for too long a time one single senator had the power to cause the suffering of tens of thousands of citizens. One senator abused the power he had, the consequences be damned.

Who needs to do their work with their relationship with power in the Senate? Certainly Senator Bunning. Actually, every single senator needs to work with his/her relationship with power. Not just because of terrible misuses of power they have committed, but to help them keep themselves in integrity with their relationship with power and the power they have.

Have we had our fill yet? Are we just going to keep watching the people out there who misuse and abuse their power, say ‘tsk tsk,’ and exonerate ourselves? Or are we going to look in the mirror these leaders hold up for us? Are we going to do our own inner work with the misuse and abuse of power in our own lives . . . so we can pull our abuse of power out of the collective pool? And so we can stand up and say ‘no’ when others abuse their power?

The truth is . . . we all need to do our own inner work with our relationships with power. We’ve all experienced others using their power with us . . . from the time we were born. And we all have had at least some painful experiences through childhood and into our adulthood. We all use power — sometimes well and for great good, sometimes poorly and causing harm. Each one of us needs to take seriously our responsibility to do our own healing with our relationship with power . . . for our own sake and for the sake of our world.

* https://www.csmonitor.com/USA/Politics/2010/0225/New-York-scandal-threatens-Gov.-David-Paterson-s-election-bid
** https://www.vanityfair.com/online/daily/2010/03/the-david-paterson-story-somehow-manages-to-get-even-worse.html
*** article at BostonHerald.com

Congress – America’s Biggest Dysfunctional Family

25Feb2010 By Judith Barr

Congress doesn’t work anymore because it is like a dysfunctional family.

A family in which there is a string of successive fathers, who try to do something for the family -to make it like they want it – while bringing their own wounds and dysfunctions to the group. A family in which there is no mother at the head of the family. Where did she go? Who took her? Who got rid of her? Where in the world is she? Her absence leaving the dysfunction that comes of abandonment. Even if she was barred from the family.

A family in which the siblings have learned to fight with each other . . . some of them while pretending they’re not fighting; some of them under the guise of friendship; some of them fighting in public view while being close in private; some of them trying to win; some of them trying to make the others fail; some of them fighting to the death, albeit figurative death . . . to date. None of them seeing what they are doing to each other. All of them blind and uncaring about what they are doing to the family. Fighting for what they want . . . the family be damned! The consequences be damned!

And that’s what our members of Congress are doing. They’re acting like the children in a horribly dysfunctional family. They’re in adult bodies. Some of them even have adult personas. But some of them, many of them, looking and acting like children right out in full view. Meanwhile they are all (or almost all) regressed children . . . as young as the age at which they were wounded in their own early lives. We have regressed, wounded children running our Senate. We have regressed and wounded children attempting to do the business of our House. We have regressed and wounded children claiming to lead our country.

When we are wounded as children, we get stuck at that age, that point in time, that developmental level. We may grow around the wound, but the wound is left there in the center. We may create defenses that help us seem to develop around the wound, but the defenses don’t dissolve the wound. Until we actually heal the wound, we will consistently, under stress, regress back to the level of that small child — mentally, emotionally, in some ways even physically.

No amount of bandaids will heal the wound. No quick fixes, no matter how simple or how sophisticated, will heal the wound. No amount of managing of behavior, thoughts, or feelings will heal the wound and help the development to continue. The dysfunction will continue, even expand and escalate . . . until we heal the wound to its root.

Our Congress is a dysfunctional family. A family of wounded children. The family needs therapy . . . both as a family and every member of the family.

But…is it just our Congress that’s a dysfunctional family?

WHERE IS YOUR VOICE?

01Feb2010 By Judith Barr

In my work as a psychotherapist, I work tirelessly to help people either birth or reclaim their voices. It’s not that they can’t speak. It’s that they are unable to speak up – for themselves, for someone they love, or for something they believe in.

Perhaps that ability was squashed when they were babies, before they barely birthed and found their own voices – literally and emotionally. When they cried – the way babies speak – someone was triggered by their crying and got frustrated, angry, or even abusive. Or perhaps they were two years old, saying ‘no’ as a way of finding their individuated, own unique selves, and again, someone was evoked by their expressing themselves. That adult someone mistakenly thought the child was trying to control him or her and decided “I’ll show them who’s boss.”

Children can be scared out of using their voice – out of speaking their minds and their hearts – by the threat or actuality of attack or abandonment. When that happens, the work of healing to use their voice is deep, touching, and very real.

In thirty plus years doing this work, I would say every single person I’ve worked with has experienced this wound and needed to do the healing to have and be able to use their voice well and without abusing it. Not because these people were sick, but because they were wounded in relation to their own voices.

Watching our country over the past years, I would say many, many citizens in our country are suffering from the same wound. Some who don’t speak up when they need to. And some who speak up so abrasively, even so abusively that you might mistakenly think they had no problem with their voice at all.

This shows up in our elections. It shows up in our disagreements about important controversial issues such as healthcare, a woman’s right to choose what happens with her body, and prejudice about people who are different from us. And most recently, it is showing up in the aftermath of the Supreme Court’s decision that a corporation has a voice – a limitless voice – through unlimited use of its money to fund campaign ads for candidates of its choice.*

It is bizarre to give a corporation voice that in the constitution was meant for human beings. It is bizarre to give a corporation such unlimited voice in elections, and especially under the guise of protecting first amendment rights to freedom of speech. That in itself will likely squash people’s individual voices, especially those of politicians running for office. That is one of the potential consequences of this decision. But that’s not the voice I’m most concerned about today.

Today I’m concerned that I haven’t heard enough voices of individual citizens expressing themselves about this ruling. Usually when something that has this much impact occurs, many of my clients talk about it in sessions. They discuss their feelings about it, and they explore what it brings up in them. Something it would serve us all to do. Very very few are exploring this event. My colleagues usually speak up about something like this . . . I’m not hearing any talk about this other than passing comments right after the decision.

And I’m concerned that I’m not hearing or reading very much about it in the media. It hasn’t come up on my internet news page since the day after the decision. And I haven’t heard it on the news to which I’ve listened since that same day.

I shudder to think what such voicelessness can create in our country.
Actually, I shudder to think what voicelessness created an environment in our country in which such a ruling could be made and people would be quiet about it.

We have a lot of healing to do to move from being a voiceless people to a people who will and do use our precious voices to speak up for truth and justice . . . consistently, effectively, and impactfully.

Where is your voice?

*From MSNBC: “In a landmark ruling, the U.S. Supreme Court on Thursday struck down laws that banned corporations from using their own money to support or oppose candidates for public office. By a 5-4 vote, the court overturned federal laws, in effect for decades, that prevented corporations from using their profits to buy political campaign ads.”
(https://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/34822247/ns/politics-supreme_court/ )

HAITI . . . AND YOU, ME, ALL OF US!

18Jan2010 By Judith Barr

Haiti —
A tragedy has occurred in Haiti.
A 7.0 earthquake that has destroyed homes, hospitals, whole towns . . .
has broken hearts . . .
has rent daily life in a million pieces.

It is very real.
People are dead, missing, hurt.
People are frightened, lost, at a loss as to how to take care of themselves
and their loved ones.

Those of us outside Haiti are having our own responses.
Thank goodness . . .
so many are feeling deep compassion,
so many are feeling sorrow for those affected,
so many are called to help.
We need to feel compassion and sorrow.
We need to help and they need our help.

But even with the call to help, even with the actual movement to help,
even as we feel the very real here-and-now pain of loss,
we need to look within and find out what is being triggered in us by this tragedy.

We all, once long ago, as babies, had something akin to this painful experience . . .
perhaps it even felt like an earthquake to our young selves and our young lives.

We all, once long ago, as babies, had something akin to this painful experience . . .
whether for a moment, a few minutes, hours, days, weeks, or years.
We all once felt unsafe . . .
even if it was as we were coming into this world,
even if it was when our mother had the flu and couldn’t get to us when we were hungry,
even if it was when one parent yelled at us, followed by the other rocking and comforting us.
We all once felt powerless . . . even if it was when we cried and cried and couldn’t get anyone to come to take care of us
for what might have only been minutes, but seemed to us like forever.

We all once felt scared about our future . . . even if it was our future at a time we couldn’t even say the word ‘future’
or a time when a few moments felt like an entire future.

What I’m saying is this.
What is happening in Haiti leaves us with much here-and-now pain and fear.
What is happening in Haiti also touches something in us all from long ago that we know . . .
even if we don’t consciously know we know it.
And what we do with that “touching” is very important.

Our reaching out in this time of need is a wonderful thing…but we should not stop there.
If we just let those moments long ago be touched and reach out to the people of Haiti to get away from our own experiences,
we do a great disservice to everyone – the Haitians, ourselves, anyone close to us, and anyone in the future who triggers those
same feelings in us.

If, however, we let ourselves reach out to the people of Haiti and also explore the roots of our own similar experiences,
we can help our world in ways we might never have imagined.

Every one of us who explores the roots of our own feelings of powerlessness, loss, fear, and unsafety …
working through and resolving those experiences from long, long ago …
has a new kind of power, power from the inside out —
power to help us respond to danger in new, more creative, more inspired, more conscious ways —
and power to help create safety in our world today and tomorrow.

HEALTHCARE REFORM . . . BLINDED BY FEAR

13Oct2009 By Judith Barr

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A Year Ago – Ugly Monday

15Sep2009 By Judith Barr

Today is the one year anniversary of Ugly Monday.
On September 15, 2008, the Dow dropped 500 points,
the economy took a crumbling dive, and took us on a ride that isn’t over yet. . . even though some people believe it is.

One of the not-well-known reasons it isn’t over yet . . .
People have been doing things on the level of outer actions all through the year.
But very few have explored the roots of their thoughts, perceptions, feelings, and relationships with money.

These unexplored roots actually drive what occurs in our financial lives individually, nationally, and globally.

As I’ve said many times before . . . The anxiety people have in their relationships with money preceded the recession and all the
economic turmoil by a long, long time. That anxiety will be here after the chaos has been calmed and we are on seemingly solid
ground again, or even actually solid ground. For many people, that anxiety exists all the time. It’s not going to go away – certainly not
any time soon. Certainly not as a result of things we do on the practical level in the outer world, either – not by selling our assets,
growing our savings, getting another job, cashing in an IRA, buying lottery tickets, or any amount of planning.

The only thing that can help resolve that anxiety is for us to do the work in our inner world – the world of our psyche and soul – to
discover, explore, heal and improve our relationship with money. In other words, the things we do in the outer world cannot be
sustained without our also doing things in our inner world that bring healing and transformation.

You may have a hard time believing this, but at the root, people’s relationships with money are based on a young child’s thoughts,
feelings, and decisions about money and even more, about the things money symbolizes for them. So when under financial stress,
people regress to a young age . . . even if they’re not aware of it, even if they don’t believe it. And from this young age, while
believing they are full adults, they make young decisions about things which need an adult to decide them.

So imagine if you, your friends, your parents, your community leaders, your state and federal leaders are all regressed and making
decisions from places within them of which they have no awareness . . . of which we have no awareness.

Sadly, there have been few in the media and financial worlds, and even the therapeutic world, who are talking about this aspect of the solution.
Having this conversation is crucial. Bringing this conversation out into the world for all to hear and take part in is crucial.
Taking action on these understandings is crucial.

It’s time to become aware. It’s time to heal what interferes with our wisdom and heart.
It’s time.

*I addressed this theme in more detail in my article A Recession Regression. If you would like to receive a free pdf copy of this article, please email me at Info@PowerAbusedPowerHealed.com.

Crowley and Gates “Agreed To Disagree”

04Aug2009 By Judith Barr

I wasn’t there when Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates, Jr. and Cambridge police sergeant James Crowley met at the White House with President Obama.

I don’t really know what happened. I have read multiple times that Crowley said they “agreed to disagree.”

In one report it was reported that Crowley said the two men “have agreed that both perspectives should be addressed.” *

Regardless of what did happen at the meeting . . . I feel called to comment on “agreeing to disagree.”

In Power Abused, Power Healed, as Mita is talking with Jason about her correspondence with Alan, she says:

His phrase, ‘This is my truth and that is your truth’ actually muddies the meaning of ‘truth’ . . .

Statements such as ‘This is my truth and that is your truth,’ and ‘we can agree to disagree’ offer an escape from the need to do the hard work to know, learn, and face an objective truth, a deeper truth. (P 52) **

And in my audio “Woman, Come to Your Self,” I invite you to …

Imagine being that truthful.
Imagine being that much yourself
and still being in relationship.
Imagine being that real
and still being valued.
Imagine being that much yourself
and still being loved.
Imagine being that real, that much yourself
and when the conflicts come
you both stand in your truth
and instead of collapsing your truth,
instead of compromising on the surface,
you trust truth
to take you deeper
into a real solution,
a true resolution
within each of you and between you.
A real resolution created from truth… ***

I know this may seem like it contradicts what I said in my book. But actually it says the same thing. It says that we need to take “our truths” and do the deep work to follow them to the deepest truth and the deepest resolution possible.

Back to Power Abused, Power Healed . . .

Like the old story of the blind people standing around an elephant, each thinking she knows what an elephant is from feeling it, while describing only one part of the elephant – the tail, the trunk, the foot, the ear, the belly. (p. 187 )**

Is it enough to agree that you think this is an ear and I think this is a trunk? It’s better than warring with each other over who is right. But far better still, is for each of us to do the work – whatever work we need to do – so that we both discover this is an elephant.

Who knows what Crowley and Gates would have discovered at the core? I can tell you that I watch people learn how to do this in every appointment, every workshop I do. It is a far deeper, far more expansive way to be in life. And it offers far more possibilities!

*https://www.cbsnews.com/blogs/2009/07/30/politics/politicalhotsheet/entry5199511.shtml
** https://www.PowerAbusedPowerHealed.com
*** https://judithbarr.com/shop/

Judith Barr

Mysteries of Life

conscious living