DARK NIGHT

THE DARK NIGHT

This is a dark night for us …
individually and communally.
Life, as we knew it, has changed.
The world around us, as we knew it, has changed.
We, as we knew ourselves, have changed.

We’d like to believe we will go back to the way we were.
That’s not really possible.
We’d like to know what will become …
of life, the world around us, and of us.
We don’t know.
We can’t know.

Dark Night
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This is the message that complements Judith's blog post on the same topic: https://judithbarr.com/2020/04/14/dark-night/

This is a dark night.
We cannot go around it.
We cannot rise above it.
We need to go through it.
We need to go deep within ourselves,
through the dark, unknown, scary places within ourselves,
if we are to come out the other side of the dark night.

If we quit in the middle …
all that we are running away from will haunt us.
All the thoughts, the feelings, the ways of being in our underground currents
will stagnate within and haunt us …
forever until …
we go back within to meet them, name them, feel them.
Until we go back within to resolve them at last.

This is true in our spiritual journeys.
This is true in our journeys in depth psychotherapy.
And now this is true in our lives in the midst of a pandemic.

There is no shortcut through the dark night.
Although many would like there to be.
Trying to take a shortcut only brings us back to the dark night once more.
Making the full journey brings us out into life –
into the life of who we are –
into life within and without –
in a way we’ve not known before.

DARK NIGHTS PAST, PRESENT, AND FUTURE

We have just passed or are passing through the holy days of two of our many world religions:  Holy Week in Christianity and the Holy Week of Passover in Judaism. We know the stories connected with each of these holidays. So we know the outcomes.  But those who lived through them didn’t know the outcomes ahead of time. They had to go through them to the end.  They lived in and through the dark nights of those times.

We don’t know dark nights from the outside in. We know them from the inside out. This pandemic in our time is calling us to journey with and through the dark night … our individual and our communal dark nights.

It is important to know we each have a choice in relation to the dark night.

Whatever choice we make, it will have an impact on not only singular us, but on all of us here on earth.  We each have a choice. Whatever choice we make will be our part in re-creating our world.  Be filled with care as you participate in co-creating our world anew.

For inspiration, included below is a poem from a dark night that I passed through long ago.

OUT OF MY DYING FRAGMENTS

Out of my dying
fragments
emerge some of
my sweetest and truest songs.

As I lay grieving,
gently holding my broken heart,
rivers of sobs and tears
part of the mending,
shedding my used defenses
as a snake sloughs her skin …
my heart’s desire
calls through the freshly opened
wires
to invite me out again
into Life —

new Life,
a life I’ve not known before,
a life in which I no longer
know who I am,
thank heavens!
and so can live each
moment new
from inside my Self —
undefined, unlabeled
by even my own impositions.

© Judith Barr, 1993. Out of My Dying Fragments

© Judith Barr, 2020

LAYERS AND LAYERS OF TRAUMA

We are living in the midst of trauma.
We are experiencing many layers of traumas, right here in our lives today.
We are in the midst of global trauma,
national trauma, state trauma, city trauma,
family trauma,
and individual trauma.

It has changed our lives forever,
just as any trauma does.

We have so much to do to take care of ourselves and each other
in the very present, very current trauma.
And we need to do that!
We need to take every precaution that
we come through the trauma as safely as possible.

Layers and Layers of Trauma
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This is the message that complements Judith's blog post on the same topic: https://judithbarr.com/2020/03/28/layers-and-layers-of-trauma/

At the same time …
we need to know
that without a doubt,
each time we, as individuals
go through a trauma in the present moment,
it triggers and reawakens – consciously or unconsciously –
all previous traumas we have experienced.
All the way back to the beginning
of our lives
and even further …

So although we already have so much to do
to take care of ourselves and each other
in today’s trauma …
if we fail to also become aware of
and work to heal the past traumas that are triggered …
we will end up creating more trauma in the midst of this trauma.
We will act out in ways that are painful not only for us,
but also for others around us,
near and far.

We might lash out at others, blaming them for what we are feeling —
perhaps fear or helplessness (among many other feelings)
instead of feeling our own feelings about today’s trauma,
and the feelings from our childhood triggered by today’s trauma.

We might crawl in a corner, literally or figuratively,
paralyzed by today’s trauma
and the feelings from our youth triggered by today’s trauma.

We might refuse to help people
or get in the way of their receiving help,
instead of feeling what’s triggered –
how we were deprived of help when we were little.

We might lie about the dangers in today’s trauma,
or be horribly susceptible to the lies of others …
just as we were when we were tiny children,
being lied to and either not knowing it or
having no choice but to believe the lies.

We may expose others to the dangers of the virus,
refusing to take responsibility for our harmful impact on each other …
just as people in our childhoods refused to take responsibility
for their destructive impact on us.

Once again …
although we have so much to do
to take care of ourselves and each other in the layers
of today’s trauma …
we will make even today’s trauma worse
if we fail to also become aware of
and work to heal the layers and layers of
past traumas that are triggered.
We will end up creating more trauma in the midst of this trauma,
and more trauma still in the days, weeks, months, years,
and generations to come.

This is both a trauma and an opportunity . . .
an opportunity to learn;
an opportunity to grow;
an opportunity to heal;
an opportunity to transform
ourselves and our society …
what we do in the midst of this trauma
and those traumas to come;
an opportunity through healing to the root
to co-create ourselves and our world anew.
It is, in the beginning, the middle, and the end …
up to each of us and all of us together.

© Judith Barr, 2020

THE TRIGGERS

There is so much going on in our country and our world at this time
that stirs up a cauldron of feelings within each of us!
There’s … the changes to our climate,
the chaos in our politics and election process,
the spread of the corona virus,
the stock market crashing …
and more.

It helps to remember:
some of those feelings are here and now feelings
in response to the outer events of today.
And although those feelings are real feelings about
real crises in the world around us …
This is the tip of the iceberg.

Most of those feelings in the cauldron, however –
perhaps the deepest, most intense, most raw ones –
are already in us …
still living within us from long, long ago in our lives as children.
It is those early feelings deep beneath the tip of the iceberg
that have been triggered by the current events.

The Triggers
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This is the message that complements Judith's blog post on the same topic: https://judithbarr.com/2020/03/04/the-triggers/

But they don’t always have a direct correlation to the here and now trigger.
For example, the young feeling of not having enough love can be triggered by
the current feeling of not having enough rain,
not having enough votes,
not having enough supplies for a possible quarantine,
and not having enough money in a market crash.

When this happens, we can believe we are responding as an adult,
while really we have regressed, and
it is the young child we were long, long ago
who is actually driving our thoughts, feelings, behavior –
our efforts to respond to the crisis today.
This means our current day responses are distorted,
since they are the responses of a child, not a true adult.

If we are to respond to the here and now events
in the best way possible, in the healthiest way possible …
we need to find which earlier feelings have been triggered,
work with them and work through them,
utilizing them for growth and healing to the root.
This will help us to better respond today
from a truly matured place,
from the inside out.

If you need help finding, exploring and working with your triggered feelings,
contact me. This is part of what I am honored and blessed to help people do …
every day.

Thanks and many blessings . . .
Judith

 

Doing what I love – helping people heal –
together we work to heal past trauma
and prevent future trauma …
individually and communally.

© Judith Barr, 2020.

IT’S NOT SAFE TO …

It’s not safe to have parents who lie.
It’s not safe to believe parents who lie.
But if you’re a child with parents who lie,
It’s unbearable to know they are lying
and perhaps dangerous, too.
It’s unbearable to live with parents like that.

It’s not safe to have parents who bully and threaten, even subtly.
But if you’re a child with parents who bully and threaten,
it’s unbearable to experience that cruelty,
and dangerous, too.
It’s unbearable to live with parents like that.

It's Not Safe To...
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This is the message that complements Judith's blog post on the same topic: https://judithbarr.com/2020/02/05/its-not-safe-to/

It’s not safe to have parents who do what they want
the consequences be damned,
believe they can get away with it,
and actually get away with it again and again.
It’s unbearable to have parents like that.
It’s unbearable for a child to know s/he has parents like that.
It’s unbearable for a child to live with parents like that.

It’s not safe to live with parents like these
and then grow up without healing from your experience.
Without the conscious, purposeful healing,
you will become like your parent,
or the opposite of your parent,
or something in between …
each with a cauldron of intense, painful feelings deep inside you.
And … you will unconsciously create situations in the world around you
just like the one you grew up with.

You might be the child/victim of the bullying in the re-enactment;
you might be the bullying parent;
you might try to be the rescuing extended family member.
You might collude with the bully, enable the bully, encourage the bully;
you might try to protect yourself against the bully by joining with him.
But whatever role you enact,
without the conscious, purposeful healing,
it will not be resolvable.
And … you will have to live with the situations you create.
And so will everyone around you.

And all the other children who grow up without healing from their
childhood experiences …
will also unconsciously create situations in the world just like the ones
they grew up with.
You will have to live with their situations, just as they have to live with
yours.
Without the conscious, purposeful healing …
We will all have to live with the re-creations or re-enactments of each
others’ childhood traumas.

It’s not safe to have leaders who lie.
It’s not safe to have leaders who bully and threaten, even subtly.
It’s not safe to have leaders who do what they want
the consequences be damned,
believe they can get away with it,
and actually get away with it again and again.

Without conscious, purposeful healing …
We will all have to live with the re-enactments of each other’s
childhood traumas.

That is exactly what is occurring right now in these United States …
and all over the world.
We all keep creating more trauma from the buried, unhealed trauma we
experienced as children.

It isn’t safe.
It won’t be, no matter what we do in the outer world …
until we heal our inner worlds.

Please listen.
Please take this seriously.
Please take this to heart.
Please spread this truth.
Please do your own inner healing.
That is what will help us all most …
To create real safety.

© Judith Barr, 2020.

STATE OF THE UNION

She Who Speaks to Congress

She walks into the halls of Congress …
looking straight ahead …
right down the aisle to the podium high above the legislators’ seats.
The same podium at which the President will soon stand.

She stands at the podium …
grounded in herself …
grounded in Truth …
grounded in Love.
She takes the time to look in the eyes
of every single senator and every single congressional representative.

She begins …
Senators, Representatives, leaders of our country …
Wake up!
The state of our union is not good.

State of the Union -- She Who Speaks to Congress
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This is the message that complements Judith's blog post on the same topic: https://judithbarr.com/2020/01/01/state-of-the-union/

No, don’t turn away.
No, don’t shake your head.
Don’t close your eyes and go to sleep again.
Don’t go deaf.
No, don’t go numb.
No, don’t boo me for saying the truth.

There’s lots of real truth to be said and this is the perfect time.
Not only are you all gathered here together, but …
so are all the media hosts gathered, in a sense, watching us.
So also are the citizens of our country.
And in addition, both the leaders and the citizens of countries all over our world.

All waiting for real truth to be spoken.

The state of the union is not good.
We all have played a part.
You, the leaders, right out in the open for everyone to see.

People are acting out.
You, the leaders, are acting out.
Some of you, not just the man at the top,
are acting out the part of the one who flaunts:
I can do whatever I want,
have whatever I want,
get away with anything I want, and not be caught.
I can do it in hiding or even in the light of day, and not be caught.
And if I happen to be caught, I can still get away with it.
Some will admire me.
Some will try to imitate me …
ripping off permission to do what they’ve always wanted to do.
Some will make excuses for me.
Some will be afraid of me.

Yes, and some of those who fear you will run away –
physically, in their minds, from their hearts.
Some will numb themselves – on all levels of their being.
And some will be frozen with fear …
by what you are acting out,
by the scenario that is being acted out.

Some are acting out the part of the one who flaunts.
And … some are acting out the part of the one who:
Tries like hell to catch you;
tries like the devil to stop you.
Tries to gather others to help in the “dangerous” venture.

Some think those of you who get away with anything are the good guys.
Many think those who try like the devil to stop you are the good guys.
Each of you thinks you’re the good guys and the others are the bad guys.
The truth is:  None of you is right!

None of you is right!
You are all caught …
caught up in a maze …
a vicious cycle in which you’re acting out
yet again
the same scenario played in your families
when you were children long ago.

In your life as a child there was
a version of what’s going on today.
There was someone who thought they could get away with anything;
perhaps someone who ran away,
someone who numbed themselves,
and someone who was frozen with fear.
There was also someone who tried like the devil to stop the one
who thought they could get away with anything.

What did he or she think they could get away with?
There were limitless possibilities.
Among them ….
drinking, drugging, gambling;
cheating, stealing;
yelling, beating, sexually abusing;
lying, manipulating, brainwashing, gaslighting,
grabbing all the power.

What did he or she think they could get away with?
In essence, passing on in your family
the trauma they experienced growing up in theirs …
all in an attempt to defend themselves against the pain
of their trauma.

But if you pass on your trauma without doing the inner work to heal it …
you not only pass it on to your family,
you also pass it on to your society and to the world society.

And what about all the spouses, family members, and children
who didn’t believe they could ever stop you, the “flaunter”?
Without doing their inner healing work …
they pass down the trauma of their hopelessness to their families and their society.

And …. what about all the family members, particularly the children,
who believed and hanged onto the hope that they could one day stop you
from all that you’ve been trying to get away with?
Attempting to stop you only in the outer world …
failing to do their own inner healing work …
they, too, pass down their trauma to generations of families to come
and generations of society to come.

You are the leaders of our country –
and mirrors of leaders in countries all over the world –
and mirrors of citizens in countries all over the world!
Get a grip!
Whatever “role” you are playing in this societal scenario
is merely a re-creation of the scenario of your childhood
(and generations before).

Whatever you do in the outer world to
keep flaunting,
keep running in hopelessness,
keep trying like the devil to stop this …
will only escalate it further if …
you don’t heal it on the inside,
if you don’t heal it from the inside out.

You are the leaders!
Get a grip!
I can see through your act, your ploy, your defenses.
I can see through your big, adult bodies …
to the little children within you who are driving this mess,
escalating it from whatever your “role” in the re-enactment.

There is a television commercial for Haribo gummy bears.*
In it, the brilliant creators of the commercial have members of
a board of directors eating the gummy bears and talking like children.
This is what I see and hear when I witness you, our leaders,
creating havoc in our government, our country, and our world.

Just like children cannot see that their parents are
re-enacting what happened to them when they were children …
unless we can see our own part in the trauma that is being
re-created and repeated amongst us today,
and unless we do our own work to heal it within ourselves,
we won’t be able to see and hear you, our leaders,
acting like the children you are inside.

You are the leaders.
Get a grip!
For once, act like leaders!
For once, be truly good role models!
Don’t tell me you are telling the truth …
while refusing to do the healing deep within that would bring real truth.
Don’t tell me you love your country …
while refusing to heal the experience of trauma and
your defenses against the trauma,
all of which close your heart to love.

Yes, you went through trauma.
We all have in one way or another.
Yes, I have compassion for your trauma.
Yes, I would gladly help you heal from your trauma.
But I still hold you accountable for the trauma you continue to create …
in an attempt to hold your past trauma at bay.

You are the leaders.
For once, for the sake of us all, act like leaders!
Look for and find the original childhood role you are acting out in this destructive scenario.
Get help healing the trauma experienced by the child you were long ago.
Get help healing the trauma that still lives within you,
and that you experience over and over beneath your awareness.
Get the help to do real inner healing so that you stop creating trauma in our world in order to not feel the trauma from your past.

Until you do this, senators and congresspeople …
you are not my leaders!
you are not my role models!
And honestly, you are not really our leaders or role models.
Neither are the citizens who are following your lead.

We need leaders and citizens, who will do their inner healing
so they have the capacity and potential
to truly help stop destructive, escalating, trauma.

We need leaders and citizens, who will do inner healing to the root –
not just seek quick fixes,
not just put on band aids so they will feel better or function.
We need leaders and citizens who will commit themselves to healing to the core and follow through on that commitment …
so the trauma perpetuated and driven by the children in adult bodies
will slow down, de-escalate, transform, and eventually end.

We need leaders and citizens who hear those traumatized children within
not only acting out destructive traumas,
not only creating trauma by defending against past trauma,
but also crying out for help to heal.
You may think this is depressing.
You may want to dismiss it and turn away.
You may want to discredit it.

The truth is …
this understanding and the possibility that follows
brings hope –
real hope.
In reality, without this, there is no real hope.

She stops speaking.
She looks every single member of Congress in the eye
and steps down from the podium.
She walks down the aisle and back out into the world,
knowing she has just been
the presence
of grounded, real love
and
of grounded, rarified truth.
Knowing what she has just given to the world is true hope.

 

* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAnwmmPFYgU
Also see
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=963SVFKw1Tw

© Judith Barr, 2020.

WE’RE IN A TRANCE ABOUT MONEY —

DURING THE HOLIDAYS AND EVERY DAY

 

When I was a little girl, I knew people had really distorted relationships with money.
I couldn’t have put it into those words then …
b
ut I knew it in my bones, my heart, and my soul.

It became obvious at certain times, in certain ways.
One of the most obvious was the holidays.
It was like people went berserk with their money and their gifts.
They went out of control in ways they didn’t seem to ordinarily.

As I grew up and then became a therapist,
I saw this behavior more and more, including with clients.
They would ask me to help them with their holiday spending,
and then they would fight against my help with all their might.

We're in a Trance About Money -- During the Holidays and Every Day
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This is the message that complements Judith's blog post on the same topic: https://judithbarr.com/2019/12/06/were-in-a-trance-about-money/

Out of this was birthed my work to help people
heal their relationships with money to the root.

This year as I witness people going through their holiday “journeys,”
I’m seeing an additional perspective through an additional lens.

Individually, it seems that people are in a trance
they don’t even know they’re in.
A trance they don’t seem to want to have pierced
A trance they don’t seem to want to have revealed to them.

For example, a woman wants to come work on the fights she
and her partner are having about money.
They are wealthy people and have just become richer still.
They buy holiday gifts for people that most people would consider extravagant.
But they don’t see it that way.
And …
she doesn’t want to do therapy unless their insurance will pay for it.

She can’t even see the reality of her distorted relationship with
money through the example I’ve just given.
The distortion that she would pay limitless amounts of money
for things, but little or nothing for healing.
She is in such a disconnected trance!

People who aren’t wealthy have their own distorted relationships with
money …
and their own trances, as well.

The trance exists individually, in couples, in families, and …
communally, too.
Greta Thunberg named the communal/global version publicly
at the UN Climate Summit … in her own way:

“People are suffering. People are dying.
Entire ecosystems are collapsing.
We’re in the beginning of a mass extinction.
And all you can talk about is money!
And fairy tales of eternal economic growth!”

A 16-year old young woman is telling world leaders that
they are in a trance and it is causing disaster beyond what they
are willing to admit, or even know.

She poignantly tells them:
“You are still not mature enough to tell it like it is.”

I don’t know exactly what she had in mind and heart
when she said the truth of that.
I know that the roots of our relationships with money
are found in our childhoods.
In hidden places, unimaginable experiences and memories, and
are acted out in distorted ways.  These roots need to be brought
out of unmatured trance states and into grown up, here-and-now
grounded awareness for healing.

What about you?
Are you in a trance state in relationship to money?
A trance that you don’t want to know, see, pierce?
A trance state that you’re resisting healing?
A trance state that affects your personal life and the life of our world, as well? 

Are you in a trance state in relation to money?
A trance your unmatured self does not want to heal?
A trance your soul longs for you to heal?

 It’s time to wake up.
Come out of that trance.
Get the help to heal your relationship with money and its impact to the root…
It’s time to respond to your soul’s calling.

© Judith Barr, 2019.

 

TO IMPEACH OR NOT TO IMPEACH?

WHAT EXACTLY IS THE QUESTION?

I know we have to go through this. This is the consequence of not just one man, not just one party, not just one government, not just a tribal citizenry. This is the consequence of society as a whole and the members of society.

Who is this man who’s acting out his earliest traumas on our country and our world, creating trauma for all of us, and giving some a free pass to act out their earliest traumas in their own destructive ways?

Who are the members of the government who are held hostage to their own earliest traumas, their families filled with denial, lies, and secrecy, and, as a result, are held hostage to the man at the top? The father figure?

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This is the message that complements Judith's blog post on the same topic: https://judithbarr.com/2019/11/17/to-impeach-or-not-to-impeach/

Who are the members of the tribal citizenry who are acting and reacting to the authority in just the ways they’ve always reacted to or in the ways they’ve always wanted to react to their own authoritarian parents?

This is not simply tribalism. This is dangerous ground that is becoming more and more dangerous.  Is this the way the people of Germany were right before Germany became Nazi Germany?

George Santayana’s famous statement “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it,” is a mirror to our eyes, our hearts, and our souls. This is true in our individual and our collective lives.

If a child is traumatized and does not have the help to consciously remember, feel, and work through the trauma – as a child, teen, or adult – that child will continuously re-enact that early trauma in one way or another throughout life. For example, if a child is abused and represses or in some way denies that abuse, he will somehow have abuse in his life until the end. He may be drawn to people who abuse him; she may abuse others; he may abuse himself – openly or hidden within; she may collude with abuse of others, overtly or subtly.

The same thing happening from one person’s life to another’s creates a society that continuously re-enacts the early traumas of its people and the early traumas of the society as a whole.

This happens in every child’s life. It happens in the life of every society. What’s happening in the United States of America is just one current example.  But it is right out in the open for all to see … or discount, ignore, or forget, as we choose.

The history of impeachment related to Presidents of the United States includes four re-enactments: In 1868, Andrew Johnson was impeached by the House of Representatives. 106 years later, in 1974, Richard Nixon resigned, rather than risk impeachment and removal from office. 24 years later, in 1998, Bill Clinton was impeached by the House of Representatives. And today, in 2019, only 21 years after the Clinton impeachment, the House of Representatives has announced a formal impeachment inquiry into President Donald Trump.

Just as with any re-enactment, the instances get closer together in time and escalate in severity and impact.

According to our constitution and in an effort to curtail the dangerous consequences, the impeachment process needs to take place. However … taking outer action alone will not resolve the true problem. The true problem is not the person of the President alone. He or she is simply one in a cast of many players who are acting out forgotten, denied, or ignored early traumas.

Recently, as part of her healing work, one of my clients was on her way into feelings triggered by the current situation in our country. As one step in the process, she said: “I don’t wanna feel my feelings about what’s going on in our country. I want somebody to stop it.”  She continued, “And I don’t wanna feel my feelings about what went on in my childhood. I wanted somebody to stop it.”*

What she was willing to say out loud … on her way deeper into the healing journey … is what most people are thinking and feeling, as they blame today’s situation on others while refusing to do their own healing exploration and  journey. While refusing to acknowledge their own part in today’s re-enactment. While refusing to be conscious of the connection between their individual past traumas and their current day traumas; between their individual past traumas and our collective traumas; between our collective past traumas and our current day collective traumas. And while refusing to enter or enter more deeply into their journey to heal their contribution to the national re-enactment of trauma.

As children, we were not responsible for the traumas we experienced at the hands of others and in the face of life. But as adults, we are responsible for both the traumas we keep creating and co-creating and for healing the traumas we experienced long, long ago.

What makes us think we can react to the here-and-now behaviors of our leaders by ignoring the truth, by twisting the truth, by denying the truth – current and past – and escape the consequences of our own histories and re-enactment escalation?

What makes us believe we can escape the acting out and re-enacting cycles of abuse on every level of society by hiding that truth under the guise of politics? By escalating the guise of politics as a cover for our deep inner traumas? By refusing to acknowledge to ourselves and each other, our responsibility in creating this chaos, pain, and trauma in our country and our world? And along this train of questioning … why aren’t the media and political leaders doing their own work and modeling for us to do ours?

What makes us think we are so powerful that we can simply focus on our “better angels” or only take action according to our “better angels” … and by doing so keep our “worst angels” or “demons” from having an impact? Ignoring our “demons” – meaning the whole complex of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors related to our early traumas – only gives them more power to haunt us and to create more trauma in our lives from deep beneath our conscious awareness.

What makes us think we can simply pray away the painful impact we have from our past traumas – conscious and unconscious – without having to do the conscious, purposeful, real work of healing within ourselves?

What makes us think we can let someone “move our energy” and all our trauma will simply disappear? What makes us think we can let someone “move our energy” and the consequences of our trauma will disappear … without our having to become conscious of our trauma and its consequences? Without our having to become conscious of the impact we have? Without our having to work through that trauma consciously?

What makes us think we can ignore what is going on deep within us and its impact on our lives, our country, and our world?

Do we believe we are so special we can get away with it?
Do we believe we are so entitled, we can escape it?
Have we created such impenetrable denial, that we cannot pierce it? …. yet?
Are we being deluded? seduced? brainwashed? by our family’s beliefs? by mainstream society’s beliefs, attitudes and perceptions?

Are we just plain so afraid to face ourselves … our traumas … our feelings … that we could give a damn about the consequences on our lives and those of others all over our country and world?

Or … Are we just so afraid to face our own past traumas that we need to reach out for help … for our sake and the sake of our world?

These are the real questions.
This is a mirror for us.
This is a call for us.
This is a summons of real Truth to us to see, hear, feel and take responsibility for our part of the problem and our part of the healing.
This is an urgent appeal of true Love to us to acknowledge our responsibility and repair our part.

If we don’t respond to the call, whatever the results of the impeachment inquiry and process … this chaos and trauma will continue and escalate in our lives and the life of our country and world.

If we do respond to the call, whatever the results of the impeachment inquiry and process … we will help heal, from the root, what keeps recreating trauma in our lives and the life of our country and world.

The real questions above are crucial questions for us to ask and answer.
The real questions below are just as, if not even more important.

What will you do?
Will you say ‘no’ to the call and be part of creating future trauma in order to avoid your own personal past trauma?
Or will you say ‘yes’ to the call and be part of healing your past trauma in order to help prevent your future trauma and our future communal trauma?
_____

*Shared with permission of my client.

** For further and deeper understanding, also see How Did We Get Here? Our Refusal to Know the Truth about Ourselves, Judith Barr, 2018, Mysteries of Life. Available through Amazon or www.JudithBarr.com .

*** Many thanks to those of you who are doing your inner healing work in these challenging times and as part of your way of life. I invite you to acknowledge this truth to others. If it helps you to do that, certainly pass this article on.

© Judith Barr, 2019.

CASSANDRA WEEPS ENDLESSLY, AND THEN …

She cries herself to sleep every night …
knowing what’s coming,
trying to warn people,
nobody listening,
or if they do …
nobody believing her,
nobody willing to help,
nobody willing to do their part.

She cries herself awake every morning …
Remembering the trauma with Apollo, the patriarchal god.
Apollo, who tried to seduce her with his gift of prophecy,
and then cursed her when she spit in his mouth,
refusing him as he tried to have his way with her.
Or did he spit in her mouth and then curse her,
determined to demonstrate the power he held over her?

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Either way, blaming and punishing her
or proving his power over her …
Apollo left her with the gift of prophecy to see what was coming,
but left her also with the curse: no one would believe what she saw!
No one would believe what she knew to be true!

Her father, the King of Troy, didn’t believe her.
Her family didn’t believe her.
Neither did the citizens of Troy.
She warned there were people coming to destroy them.
She warned they would sneak in without the people of Troy knowing.
She warned the citizens needed to be aware, awake, conscious,
and work purposefully to protect themselves and each other.

For centuries Cassandra has cried herself to sleep.
For centuries Cassandra has cried herself awake.
For centuries Cassandra has seen.
For centuries Cassandra has known.
For centuries Cassandra has warned.
For centuries Cassandra has not been believed.
For centuries Cassandra has not been helped to spread the word
and protect the village.

It’s happened over and over again.
The patriarchal trauma.
The trauma it caused Cassandra.
The trauma it caused the village.
And then the trauma itself – untended, unhealed –
creating and recreating more trauma.

Century after century after century …
the people avoiding their own trauma.
the village avoiding its own trauma.
person after person creating trauma for self and others, as a result.
village after village creating trauma for itself and others, as a result.

Even today, when national security bigwigs can write a book about cassandras…
they ignore or refuse to believe
Cassandra’s warnings about the traumas that create
from the inside out.
They refuse to acknowledge what she knows –
that it’s an inside job.
Even today when songs have been written about Cassandra …
those songs are the least well known, unknown by many.

Still today, hardly anybody believes Cassandra.
Still today she weeps herself to sleep and awake.

But now she has come to a crossroads.
Now she is making a change.
Now she is, with one strong, inevitable, powerful burst  of
“Enough is Enough!” …
breaking Apollo’s curse,
dissolving the blanket of disbelief,
shattering the blindness, deafness, and numbness that has resulted.

Now Cassandra breaks the curse.
Now she will be believed.
Now she and her village will not be attacked and taken.

Now our unconscious selves will not be mined from the outside.
because now we will mine our own unconscious selves,
healing trauma, and as a result, preventing the ongoing slaughter of
trauma being passed down from generation to generation.

Now we will believe Cassandra.
Now we will see what she sees, what she’s showing us.
Now we will know what she knows, what she’s telling us.
Now we will each do our own inner healing work to heal our trauma –
within and amongst us.
Individually and communally.

The curse is broken.
Apollo’s patriarchal power is shattered.
Cassandra will now be believed.
Healing is now possible.
The healing of trauma will now take place.
Hope opens our hearts again.

 

© 2019, Judith Barr

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO CASSANDRA

AND HER IMPACT ON OUR WORLD

Let me introduce you to Cassandra.
She comes to us from Greek mythology and the
patriarchal world of those times.
It is said that Cassandra was the daughter of
King Priam and Queen Hecuba of Troy.

There are a number of versions of the myth. Pulling the threads together brings us this one:
Cassandra was in service as a priestess to the Greek god Apollo. Her sacred vow as a priestess included a vow to remain a virgin throughout her life. Despite this required vow of chastity, Apollo wanted Cassandra and tried to seduce her with a gift – the gift of prophecy.  Some versions of the myth say she agreed … but that would mean breaking her vow.  It seems that in the end, she refused his advances and kept her vow of chastity.

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Apollo was so enraged by her refusal, he wanted to take away his gift to her. But that was not allowed in the rules of the gods. So, he found another way to punish her for her “rebuff.”  He put a curse on her: She would be able to see what was coming, but nobody would believe her.  His intention and his curse would cause her pain, frustration, fear, despair and more. And cause great harm to those who worshipped him.

Cassandra attempted, in vain, to warn the people of Troy that the Greeks were coming to destroy their home. No one believed her. No one took protective action. Her prophecy came true.  The Greeks entered Troy’s homeland, hidden away in the Trojan Horse.  Once in the gates … destruction!

The essence of Cassandra has played a part throughout time. The one who sees what’s happening beneath the surface. The one who sees the future. The one who tries to warn. The one who is not believed.

She has played a part in every arena of life – family, spiritual, educational, business, healing, civilian, political, governmental, national, and global. People’s refusal to believe her has caused great damage to limitless beings in limitless ways.

There have been profound songs written that sing to us of Cassandra and those that reveal to us the god Apollo. Unfortunately, they have been little known. One important one among them is “The Oceans Are Calling,” by Kim Rosen and Cahie Malach.

The Greeks called you Delphys, the womb of the mother.
Apollo so feared you he sought mastery.
Your beauty and freedom he tried to imprison.
And still to this day he lays waste to your seas.

For deep in your waters he meets his own shadow,
a movement of oceans that melts sword and shield.
And naked we enter the womb of creation,
a power so vast it insists that we yield.

Another one, a song by the famous group ABBA, powerfully expresses the widespread painful impact of Apollo’s curse on Cassandra:

Sorry Cassandra I misunderstood
Now the last day is dawning
Some of us wanted but none of us would
Listen to words of warning

But on the darkest of nights
Nobody knew how to fight
And we were caught in our sleep

Sorry Cassandra I didn’t believe
You really had the power
I only saw it as dreams you would weave
Until the final hour

Now that you have been introduced to Cassandra . . . go to the next blog post – to read and listen to :

Cassandra Weeps Endlessly

And Then . . .

 

© 2019, Judith Barr

 

NO MORE TRAUMA!

UTILIZE THE TRAUMA TO HEAL THE TRAUMA …

NOT TO CREATE MORE TRAUMA

There is so much trauma in our world.
We’re having trouble facing the truth
of the causes and the consequences.
We need help to face the truth.
We need help to heal the trauma …
not just bandage it.
We need help to heal the trauma
to the roots and from the inside out.

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NO MORE IGNORANCE; NO MORE DENIAL; NO MORE DELUSION!

The leaders in our country and world are acting out their childhood traumas on their countries, on our world, on our planet.

Impeaching them, electing someone else, a revolution … none of these is going to solve the problem. The next leaders will also act out their childhood traumas on the national and global stages.

And the leaders aren’t the only ones.  We, the citizens, act out our childhood traumas in our lives, in our families, in our schools, in our businesses, in our communities, in our countries, and in our world. 

Not only that, but also … we are connected to the leaders whose traumas somehow reflect or intersect with our own. This is unconscious and ends up causing us to decide and act in ways that aren’t really free, that certainly aren’t healthy, and that are often destructive. 

And as I’ve indicated in previous blog posts, this ends up causing us to abuse our children, abuse each other, abuse ourselves, and abuse our planet … either outright and directly, hidden and secretly, or perhaps more subtly, through enabling and collusion.

This will continue until we do our own inner healing to consciously and purposefully work through our young traumas.  

Here’s a step you can take:


Until we heal from our early traumas …
we are held captive –
by our own traumas …
by our leaders’ traumas …
by the traumas we’re trying to forget and bury,
while at the same time acting them out without awareness.

Until we heal from our ancient traumas …
we consciously and unconsciously try to
keep our traumas hidden and buried.
Yet they remain alive and active within us …
like volcanos waiting to erupt.

Until we heal from our long-ago traumas …
we are held hostage –
by the traumas we are creating and re-creating
in our lives,
in the lives of our children,
in the lives of our families,
in the lives of our countries and our world.

Have the courage to wake up …

Have the courage to understand this …
Have the courage to explore and find the roots of your own trauma …
and to heal it.

Here’s another step you can take:


Be aware that you are being triggered by what’s going on in our country and world today.
There are here and now situations that need to be addressed in the here and now.

But your unhealed childhood traumas interfere with your successfully contributing to real, sustained resolution of today’s problems for the long-term.

Be aware that those triggers are rooted in your childhood traumas.
Be aware that the feelings that are triggered are connected to your childhood traumas. 

Don’t act out on those feelings
and don’t bury them.
Have the courage to safely feel the feelings
the child you once were felt in the midst of your trauma.
Know that the child you once were is still alive inside you,
driving you without your realizing it …
until you heal his or her trauma.
 

NO MORE BLINDNESS; NO MORE DEAFNESS; NO MORE NUMBNESS

Here’s still another step you can take:

 

Get the help to end your blindness to what’s going on.
Get the help to end your deafness to what’s going on.
Get the help to end your numbness to what’s going on.
What’s going on within you …
What’s coming from you …
and what’s happening on our planet.

 Climate activist Greta Thunberg has said to the adults of our planet:

Adults keep saying we owe it to the young people, to give them hope.
But I don’t want your hope. I don’t want you to be hopeful.
I want you to panic.
I want you to feel the fear I feel every day.
I want you to act. I want you to act as you would in a crisis.
I want you to act as if the house is on fire, because it is.” *

What needs to be melted is our numbness.
I have been writing, teaching, urging, and working with people for years …
to feel their panic.
If people had felt the panic from their childhood traumas,
we wouldn’t be in such danger today in so many ways …
individually, communally, and globally.

So it may seem strange to hear a depth psychotherapist who is filled with love and compassion for people in pain to say something similar to what Greta Thunburg is saying:

 I want you to feel your panic from long, long ago …
I want you to find a safe way to feel that panic from your ancient traumas
so you will stop re-creating your trauma and panic in your life and in ours …
today, tomorrow, and in our future.
That, in fact, is the deepest hope!

Find a good therapist to help you safely feel your panic and safely utilize your traumas to heal your traumas. In that way you will collaborate with us all in healing our past traumas and saying ‘no’ to creating new traumas.

This is the work I do with people, day by day by day.
If I can help you, let me know.

Thank you and Many blessings to each of you … and to our planet . . .

Judith

*‘I want you to panic’: Climate activist Greta Thunberg, 16, lays it on the line for world leaders

NOTE: To understand more about trauma and its course, read  https://judithbarr.com/2018/10/28/haunted-now-what/ from this time last year.

© Judith Barr, 2019