BILJANA OGNENOVA

BILJANA OGNENOVA

Thank you for the precious and inspiring event. It made me and my colleagues from work reflect on what bullying is in a fresh way . . . a different way . . . It was even more to think about than the previous, similar web conference ”There is a Bully in All of Us” where I first came into contact with your work . . .
I was truly amazed at the depth of the definition of bullying that you refer to. What most struck me, of course, was the name: “There is a Bully in All of Us”.

Wait a minute, I thought . . . an unpleasant thought crossed my mind . . . it would mean that there is a bully in me too!

It was a quite non-digestible personal responsibility at first . . . Until then, I had only perceived the phenomenon outside me . . . But later, after listening to the conference, reading through your articles and your other work the tricky truth about the use and abuse of power became more and more obvious to me.

It meant that I would need to take care of my “inner bully” rather than take care of bullies “outside me”. It meant constant awareness on how I use aggression and power . . . It meant greater clarity on what triggers my pain and why is this so . . . It also meant continuous questioning of what is the way of love and what is the way of adversity . . .

I had to slow down and think about the boundaries of my own power. I had to think about how I feed conflict and I had to think about my language and my thoughts of violence . . . It just affirmed what I thought I knew before – that hurt can easily turn into anger.

What is most important, turning inwards to look for the bully within made me realize that I have learned to make a home for it . . . How much of what I say and do can be bullying . . . and how I have allowed and given meaning to something to hurt me . . .

I am so grateful that I have been given the opportunity to learn again . . .

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